I got a new… Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear Old Furniture,

R.I.P.

Yay… err…ahem… umm, I meant… you will be missed.

Love always,

Me

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Dear New Furniture,

I.

LOVE.

YOU.

OhmygodyouaresofrigginGORGEOUS!!  And you are so soft and squishy and beautiful and soft and sexy and and and soft! *grin*

wHOOooOOhhHooooOOoo!!!

Purring at your beauty,

Mama

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Dear Ants,

W.T.F??  Why are you living in my kitchen again!??!  I don’t have anything in there for you to eat.  I have been cleaning like a frickin’ germaphobe lately to keep you out of my kitchen and yet each day I find 4 or 5 of you cruising around my kitchen sink.  Does your Queen convince you that you are really going to find something at my house?  Cause your so not.  GOOOOO AWWWAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!

Leave or die.  Your call.

The ONLY Queen living in this house,

Me

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Dear Doctors office,

It seems like you have all forgotten about me and pretty much blown me off which has in turn just pissed me the fuck off.  I have given you thousands of dollars so far to assist me in getting pregnant.  This does not award you the right to not return my calls.  ESPECIALLY when it is an urgent matter.

I am pissed and this shit better stop.

Signed,

This Bitch who is trying to get pregnant and who is going to continue to call and make your life shit if you don’t treat me with some damn respect

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Dear Monkey,

I knew you were going to love our massively over sized ottoman. And I loved how when you walked in and saw it you said “Ohhhh!  Bed!”

You look like a million bucks wearing Mama’s headband as a necklace.  It’s even cuter that you wear it around all.the.time. now.

You are so cute.

I love you mister man,

Mama

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Dear HUGE cysts on my ovaries keeping me from doing another cycle this month,

You suck.  Why MY ovaries?  Was there not any other ovaries that you could latch onto?  You realize that because of you now I have to go on birth control pills to try and exterminate you?  WHY?  I just wanted to go through another normal injection cycle and get pregnant and YOU had to ruin it.

I am so mad sad bummed irritated confused angry that we had to miss this month.

Sigh,

The Bod

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo